zig_zag123: (Default)
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People have. I didn't like it.

So when I found a person who took one of my AMVs and just cropped off my end credits to hide that it was mine? Well, first I asked nicely for them to take it down. When they told me: SCREW YOU CRAZY LADY I TOTALLY MADE THIS!

8D I asked to borrow KJ's lynch mob!

Now that video is no longer on Youtube at all! Due to me... uh... kinda breaking the law to use a full song in my video. *cough*

Okay, so that wasn't a REAL publishing thing where the kid was making money... BUT STILL!
zig_zag123: (Kenshin Smile)
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I'm cheating and making this holiday themed. This is my favorite CHRISTMAS childhood memory, just because I feel in the Christmas spirit. I remember being little and being good ALL year long because there was toy out that year and I WANTED it and I KNEW my parents could never afford to get it for me. But... there was one person who could. Santa. If I was really, really good that Santa would bring me a Power Wheel!

I went around all year singing the Power Wheels them song: Pow! Pow! POWER WHEELS! Mom and dad telling me over and over that Santa might not be able to fit something so big in his sled. That made me nervous. It really was the biggest thing I have ever asked for. Maybe he really couldn't?! But I kept asking Santa for it and was on my very best behavoir. I even got a letter in the mail FROM Santa! (My mom is so cute sometimes) It said that he was trying his very best to get it to fit into his sleigh. Oh! I was so excited!


zig_zag123: (The Band)
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....really? Okay.

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I refuse to buy anything there. From what I've seen they treat their employees like crap. They don't care at all about their customers at ALL and they sure don't care about gamers. I understand a company needing to be money hungry and that they all are but Gamestop takes it to an EXTREME. Being from a small town it really hurts that they're the ONLY place outside of yard sales to get used games. Because they charge stupidly high prieces for scrached up pieces of shits they don't bother to make sure they work.

There was an amazing youtube video I stumbled upon years ago that talked about a lot of the problems I hated about Gamestop but even more as it was a former employee. I can't find it anymore, but that's probably because Gamestop had it removed. It was awesome and in the style like Yatzee on escapist.com. I wish I could find it again.
zig_zag123: (Sad Rude)
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As a kid I did. Not so much now. I do have recurring feelings in dreams - like I know it's SUPPOSE to be a nightmare and maybe now and then some things feel same-ish but never the same dream.

As a kid I had several recurring dreams. I've forgotten most of them now (although I remember writting most of them down in a one of my diaries) but one I've always remembered. I'll be sitting out on my front steps. That was always the same. It always started with me sitting on our cement steps outside. Sometimes mom or my sister would be there but most of the times it was just me.

As I was sitting there a black cat would start to walk up. I remember when I first started having these dreams they were really hurtful because they started after I had lost my first cat Zig-zag who had been a black cat. So I'd run up thinking I had been reunited with her to realize it was a demon cat who would kill me. There never seemed to be anything I could do to stop it. It would scratch me and make a horrible sound that was a mix between a hiss and growl.

I had that dream that way several times. Whenever there was someone with me I could always hear them screaming and crying in the background as I died. Slowly as I had this more and more I started to catch on. At first I'd realized it after it was too late and I was running into death already. But eventually after years I started to get the idea right away. I'd be sitting on the steps and I'd see the cat walking up. At first I just kinda sat there crying asking the dream to end before it killed me or begging whoever might have been there that the cat WAS evil and to please help me kill it.

Then I started to get tired of it and began fighting back. If I had someone with me they thought I was crazy and tried to stop me before the cat began to kill. It didn't seem to matter who started the fight when we were alone. Me or it or what weapon I managed to find (usually a stick or stone found near the steps) it would always win. Then one night I don't know how but we fought and I won. I remember after standing over the dead cat wondering what came next before I awoke and was in utter awe that I had managed to win at last - instead of the typical ball of nerves that I usually woke up with after that dream. And since that night that I won - I've never had that dream again.
zig_zag123: (Crap...)
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No really, that's what the family calls it. *cracks knuckles* So let me give the retelling of one of my most horrible travel trips ever. Even worst then getting food posioning and getting lost on my first flight ever.

It happened years ago. I think I was about ten years old or so. My mom decided to take me and my sister to Water Safari - a waterpark about two hours from my place. We also invited my aunt Carol and her three daughters with us. So off we went having PB&J sandwhiches in the car for lunch.

As we always start at Water Safari we went though Fairy Tale lane first. A little town full of houses and statues of fairy tales. My favorite was always the crocked old man's house and sitting in the cute little crocked chair. While doing this I started to feel hot and tired, but too excited to be at the park to care.

The next thing we always do is hit the few dry rides they have and then spend rest of the day on the water rides. The first first ride we decided on was the tilt-a-wril (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tilt-A-Whirl) which is one of my all time favorite rides. I was sat down in the ride between my cousin Michelle and Janelle. The ride got going and soon after it started I realized I had made a horrible mistake and started begging to get off. Michelle and Janelle yelled to try to get the operator attention, but it was too late. I ended up throwing up our yummy lunch. I still feel bad for them.

Got off the ride and cleaned up and mom took my tempture - 101F with a red itchy throat. Guess who we later found out had strept throat? So our moms took us to the water park area because I really need to cool down. Also because everyone (even me) were horrified that they were going to take us home after only going on ONE ride. So it was a compromise. We'd go to the waterpark area and cool off while they got extra drinks and such for the ride home so I didn't overheat on the drive home.

Too bad. That wasn't a good idea.

Our favorite thing at that age was what was called: The kiddy car wash. It was this big square that you ran through with sponges you ran through and sprinklers squirting at you. So we kept running through that over and over until our parents were ready to go. I remember following behind Michelle and after one of our MANY run throughs she was just climbing out and going to turn around to go back to the beginning and I still to this day can remember the sight of her falling and the SCREAM that followed it.

She had slipped on a blue mat just outside the exit. When she fell she knocked her chin and shot her tooth through her top lip. I was climbing out and saw some man scoop her up and go running off with her. He sat her on a chair and by the time I caught up there was a crowd of people around her. I still remember pushing my way into the center to see my cousin laying there SCREAMING blood smeared all over her face.

Found out later that at first our parents didn't know at first where we had gone off too. They had been watching of course, they just didn't realize at first that it had been Michelle who had fallen because it had happened so fast. It wasn't until they saw me running off and no Michelle with me did they panic. Grabbing up the my younger sister and cousin before they could catch up.

Trip ended up with Michelle, lucky enough to not need stitches, but with a fat lip and me shivering in the back of the car and throwing up in a bucket all the way home.

Wonderful, wonderful trip really.
zig_zag123: (Crap...)
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I decided to answer this one since I was recently sick and this was something I actually tend to ponder each and everytime I do.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a mama's girl. When I'm sick I want my family to take notice and coddle me a little. Not smother. But dote. Which is hard to balance with my mom as she can easily go into smothering mode. I want to be able to cuddle in my bed and know I just have to make some noise and someone will come to aide me. I'm okay to let people know I'm sick when I'm home.

Now... when I'm away - say at college or something - I never wanted to let people know I was sick. I hated it. I'd do everything I could to try to hide it. Luckily I'm a naturally healthy person and never got so sick I had to stay in bed while I was in college. But I did come close once and I was praying it didn't get to the point where I was stuck in bed because I didn't want my roommate to know I was sick. (Of course this could also be because I was sharing the same room with said person and I wouldn't have been able to escape them and they would feel awkward in a room with a sick person.)

However! How I want to be treated when sick also depends on how sick I am. If I got a head cold I don't want any real attention at all. Because I get really sick of hearing: How are you doing? A billion times a day. It also takes a lot to keep me in bed. I basically have to be throwing up or so dizzy I'm going to tip over/throw up when standing for me to stay in bed. But once I get that bad I'm in: I want mommy mode.
zig_zag123: (He Did It)
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This day? At this age? No. I understand privacy a lot better. I'm very much a believer of: Don't do onto others you don't want done to yourself. I don't want people reading my personal thoughts so I'm not going after other's. People's personal thoughts are their own - and because of that I'm not going to understand them. Things are usually more complicated in people's head then they can write down in words. At least that's the truth for me. So the idea I might read something I wouldn't like - I may not fully understand. It's not worth ruining a relationship over that.

That being said there are a couple diaries I have read over my years. Three of them.

The first - That belonged to my sister. When we were really little mom let us each pick out a diary in a store saying it was a good habit to get into. Part of the reason was she said it was good to write down our thoughts to remember our past better. In secert it was also a way to get us to write everyday. As both my sister and I are at least a little dyslexic. Casey not as much as me - but writing everyday - private writing that no one was going to scurtinize would also help us be a bit more confident in our writing. Heh. I can't really understand half the stuff I tried to write back then; but I think it was a good idea. I still have that diary and like to read it now and then. There are some very happy and very sad entries in there.

But yes... off topic.

When we got our first ones I actually took it rather seriously and of course being really young and the older of the two of us - I knew what I had to do! Look at my sister's diary! It was mostly squirbles and nonsense to me. I'm sure it made sense to her (at least at the time). But it was mostly nothing deep. Pretty much: My kitty rocks! Anyway that was her only diary - where I kept up with it.

The second - That belonged to my mom. This one I'm a bit more ashmaed of. But it was in that same phase where I wanted to peek at everyone's diary. I think I was compairing them to my own. That and I was wondering if there were entries before I was born. I was always curious about my parent's life wihtout kids. Because of course as a kid myself my parents couldn't POSSIBLY been my age! This diary didn't and it had a lot of personal thoughts in it. I don't really remember what they were - but I remember only reading a couple entries and feeling so guilty and bad for reading them. After that suddenly the thrill of doing something wrong and getting caught wasn't so much fun. I put the diary back and quickly left my mom's room. I remember she found that diary once when I was a lot older and read me a few of the funnier entries and I confessed I had read a couple as a kid. She just laughed and said she thought every kid wanted to read their parent's diary if they had one. That it was alright - but still to this day I feel a small pang of regert that I did it.

The third - That one belonged to my grandmother. It was found a few days after her funeral. I can't remember who ended up with it. But I remember reading a couple entries with mom and crying. I wish I remember what was said - if I had been older I might have; but all I could remember thinking was how much grandma loved me and how I missed her. The grief of that time probably didn't help much. I wish I knew where it was - because that's one diary I would mind peeking into again.

Hm. So I guess my final position would be that I wouldn't peek while they were alive? I think I would be a little nervous about reading too many of grandma's personal thoughts and that's why I haven't thought about her diary that much since then. But to read her words and her thoughts... that would be nice. But I would also be a little scared of finding an entry that might taint my opinion of her. But then again... my grandma was awesome I doubt I could find one THAT bad.
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Couldn't help myself but to answer this one. But I am the oldest out of two sibblings. Meaning I only have the one younger sister. Now my sister is only two years younger than I am so that also probably makes a difference in our experiences.

But yes. I think it vastly influenced who I am and how my sister and I turned out. As mom has told me numberous times that I was basically the 'pratice child'. I was their first. I was the one where they had to pratically guess at what they were doing and if they were doing it right. When my sister came around they had a few things down pact. So made less 'mistakes' with her. Let her get away with a few things that I had learned were not allowed because something bad might happened. Of course mom and dad had learned by then that nothing would happen so where I was trained to learn that certain things couldn't be done - Casey didn't have any of that.

Also being the oldest I was expected to understand more. To be a good role modle for my sister. Not that this didn't stop me from pulling pranks at all, but I also wanted to be a good big sister. I did at times try to put on brave faces and tried to help her out. Like in school. I felt like tough shit because I was already in second grade when my sister started kindergarden. I felt so proud riding with her on the bus, explaining how things are done, and taking her to her classroom.

All and all I think our parents really did try their best to treat us like equals - although Casey had a better 'innocent' face then I did and tended to get cuddled more than me. In the end though I do think it was more our individuality that made us who we are but our placement in the birth order did matter a little. Even though I still had to wear hand-me-downs from my cousin. I had always hoped to avoid that being the oldest XD
zig_zag123: (Default)
[Error: unknown template qotd] This writing block just works so good for how I've been feeling the past couple days. God I would love to be a guy right now. I'm PMS-ing bad. Emotions going wild. One moment I'm happy and fine then two seconds later I feel like I'm going to have a mental breakdown and I just want to curl up into a ball and cry. At first I didn't even realize it was PMS because I don't normally get bad systems of it. Like at work today. I was alone for three hours of it. One moment I was really enjoying it and then next I felt so utterly alone that I just wanted to scream and latch onto the next person I saw. Luckily I was good an hour later when our one camper came back.

So yeah. I took a moment pause and realized that it just had to be PMS. I'm normally much more control of my emotions. It's going to be a long three days...... @_@


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July 2015

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