zig_zag123: (Default)
Last week I was busy and I've never been happier. I got asked to return for a week by my old internship to help them with a new mini project. I got paid 500 bucks for the week and it couldn't have come at a better time. As I had no idea how I was going to pay my rent before that. It felt great going to work each day. To be paid for what I went to school for. It was just the confidence boost I really needed. That someone wanted to pay me for what I could do. It was also nice to see my old co-workers again. They were so excited to have me back. I hope they get another project soon and need me again.

Then on Monday I had an amazing interview for Staples. Not my dream job in the slightest, but it will pay my bills and I'm so excited for it. He said he really liked me, but he had to see the rest of the interviews he had set up to be fair. He promised to call today if I got the job or not. I'm trying to be calm about the whole thing because if I get it I can finally eat more than ramen noodles, but if I don't get it I can spend more time looking for that dream job. It really is still fairly win-win. Also, this job will force me to play with photoshop more and make me more desirable for my real job.

Other than that the weather has been great. BEAUTIFUL so I've been out trying to get as much sun as I can. Spent a couple days reading at the beach. It's actually the first time I've ever walked out in a tank top in public. I don't think I've done that since I was ten, but between my new outlook on life, my sister showing me that I AM pretty, and my mom backing that up by giving me a little money so I can buy new clothes I decided to be brave and wear it. And you know what? I did feel pretty. A little shy as I swear it seemed like I was the only one in NYC ready for summer weather by wearing a tank top and shorts, but I still felt pretty.

I do really like my new outlook on life. I do also think that I have the anti-depressants to thank for that. I find that since I've been on them I have been more mellow. Feeling better about myself. I'm still the same person, but I don't get hung up on things like I use to. Like this morning I suddenly felt like crying for no reason and usually I probably would have spent an hour or so of the day wasted crying. Then I remembered I had forgotten to take my pill. While I still felt like crying, I took it, took a shower, and powered through it. Even if it's just a placebo and it was more me thinking it was going to help. I'm glad it's there.

So yeah, still keeping on tract I hope. I even found another website to look for work. I'm not spending all day in the house everyday. I'm trying to think positive. And I have a cute derpy kitty! And now, I'm about to go get some french toast.
zig_zag123: (What?)
Okay, not a real job, an unpaid internship, but you have to start somewhere. Those people finally got back to me and gave me a phone number I could call and get questions answered. No, it's not an event by event internship. No, I will not be making phone calls and copies all the time. They're a small company so if I want to edit: This is the place they said.

So I told them I'd move down there as soon as I could. Okay, I told them I knew of someone who was losing a roommate and was looking for a new one - so I had to call her and see when the roommate was moving out for sure, but I didn't want to settle with a date on when I'd move right then.

As Autumn has a spare room with a bed in it that I will be able to steal.

Told mom and dad. Mom's excited for me, dad is heart broken. He keeps saying how I can't leave! I'll be leaving him all alone! He knew this day would come sometime, but he was hoping it wouldn't. We haven't talked about details just yet, dad keeps shouting about how I'm not going, so mom and I have decided to wait a little bit to talk details and let it have a little time to sink in.


I'm trying to think what to pack. What manga will stay here for now. What will go. Which sweaters. The bills I need to inform of an address change. Am I going to bring any of my video games with me. What am I going to do with some of the alcholoh I got for christmas. Do I take that with me? My babies... : ( I'm going to miss my dog and cat. Getting my room ready to be shut off. I'll have to find a new place for the kitty litter so that mom or dad will notice and clean it.

The good news is that as I'm moving in with Autumn - I'll still have my internet. So I won't vanish as long as I first thought I might when I moved. So much to think about.
zig_zag123: (Kitty)
Just a quick update on the job situation. A little hopeful in that they emailed me back saying that once I had my living arrangements settled down there to let them know. Of course... they also didn't answer ANY of my questions I asked. Like - is this internship just a event by event type. How often are they going to need me? Where are they going to need me the most? What kind of tasks are they expecting me to do?

You know... you'd really think they'd want to know some of these questions too. Like have I ever made copies before or something... I dunno. This is about the third time I've tried to ask them these questions and they've ignored me to just say what they want. I'll probably still go. I just want a job so badly right now. No decision right now. I want to wait until mom comes home to sit down with her and dad and have a pow-wow. Once I move out they won't have any kids in the house for the first time in a long time. I want to give them time to let that sit in a little if I can.

Last night though I thought I was done stressing, but apparently not. I went to bed and had a dream I was hanging out on my bed with my computer answering tags and dad walked in looking as if he had just been kicked in the gut. He said he was so sorry, that these things just happen. Then I saw that he had Buttons's medicine in his hand and I knew, she had died.

A Nasty Dream )
zig_zag123: (Crap...)

Woke up this morning when I heard mom and dad talking loudly to themselves. Grumpily rolled over and managed to fall asleep again after a bit. Then not too much longer later was awaken again by the dog whinning. I stumbled my way out of bed assuming today was going to be every other day. Let the dog out, let the dog in, give the dog her meds, feed the cat, get on computer, write up a post about a fun Vash/FMA dream I had last night, answer tags, look for work for a couple hours, then waste the rest of the day on WoW and more tags.

Only when I started moving around dad told me that mom had taken off somewhere, but wanted to know if I'd like to go out for breakfast. Get out of the house? Yes please. Only when she came home she was all excited about how she had sold a few big items at the anitque store she's in, but it's closed for the season. So she ropped me into loading some items into her van before we went to breakfast as she wasn't sure when they were coming to pick the items up and the owner of the place to see what was going on. As when they sell things off season he doesn't get a cut. So she was trying to move fast so he wouldn't see.

The meh )

Was just about to lay down and take that nap when I got an email I wasn't really expecting to see. It was from the company I had an email interview with and they said they would call me soon for a phone interview. I figured I would never hear from them again. Now I was super excited thinking they were emailing to set up that phone interview at last!

Only no, all it said was: Checking in!

Uh, okay. Emailed them back that I was still avaible and ready to work if they were still intersted in taking me on. That I even had a place I could stay and could be in NYC in a few days. The email they sent back said that was great, they had an event tomorrow - could I be there!

I love it when people don't read or listen to what they're told.

The WHOA )

zig_zag123: (Sleepy puppies)
Yes, another dream entry as they are typically (and sadly) the most intersting part of my daily life right now.

First dream was that Amelia from the new Trigun movie, [livejournal.com profile] whiteadelphi, and Ginko were all hanging out at my house with me. We were talking about the different counties we were from and coloring. Because coloring in coloring books is what you do when you get a bunch of different people in the same room together. Duh. whiteadelphi was talking about the floods in Australia, Amelia was saying how she WISHED an area of Gunsmoke COULD flood, and then Ginko... I dunno, turned into a girl for some reason. Maybe he was suppose to be [livejournal.com profile] circles9 now and I wanted an all girl party. I don't even know. He was just suddenly a girl, we never did say his name again, and he was  talking about how he was only in America until his stay of excusion ran out. Then he had to go back to his country and have his (her?) head chopped off.

Silly dream, I want tacos now )
In other non-dream news. We're finally getting that blizzard that's been blowing through the east coast. After two days of -20F (-30C) cold I was kinda looking forward to the warmer weather. Only... it's like it's only getting warm for the blizzard so it's not too cold to snow. Then the temepture is suppose to drop a couple days after that. Joy. Broke the record low yesterday at -22F the low use to be -20. It can get much colder than that, but it's fun to break day to day records - now if only it was for the highs.

Job search rant )
Speaking of being unemployed I have another meeting with my unemployment caseworker. I get to go in there and hand them my list of places I've applied to and tell them what I've done to find work. It's not so bad if I actually see Lisa. I like Lisa - she's kind and understanding. Not sure why, but last time I went in I got this asshole that didn't even give me his name. He just looked at me like I was a waste of his time and asked if I knew how to use search engines.

Yes. I do. Yes. I know how to put different words in to find different things to find work. He even asked me what kind of terms I use to find jobs. I felt pretty awesome when I was able to list off about the ten different searches I use to try to bring up different jobs on the four different sites I use. I also was happy to shove in his face that I knew actually six job search sites. (I only use four because the others don't have the type I'm looking for - but not that, that jackass needed to know that.)

So even though I could rattle all that off without thinking about it, he still felt the need to treat me like and idiot and explain how if I make my search too speific that I wasn't going to find anything. No shit Shirlock. I already told YOU that. He also then took me to one of the job sites and went through the new job lisitings which I got to point to my LIST OF JOBS I HAD JUST APPLIED FOR and show that yes - I honestly had already appiled for these things.

Until he saw I was skipping jobs that were strictly using photoshop.

Asshole: Why didn't you apply for this job?
Me: It's a photoshop job. It's not the type of postproduction I'm qualified for.
AH: It's in the communication feild.
Me: Yes, but it's for still photogrophy. I'm not very good at that.
AH: You should apply anyway.
Me: They want someone SKILLED in photoshop. I hardly know how to crop in it.
AH: But it's a communication job.
Me: Not in the same feild!
AH: But look, pay starts out at 15,000 a year.
Me: (But not if I get fired on day two for not knowing the program.) It's really not the same thing, sir. I have my degree in Digital TV/Film. Film is very different from still images and the programs we use are very different.
AH: It's the same thing.
Me: No it's not...
AH: You're still going to apply for it when you get home. It's a good paying job.

I WISH I was exzagerating how this conversation went, but I'm not. He kept looking at me like I was some twat who didn't know that Photoshop and Final Cut Pro are totally the same thing. I seriously wanted to punch him in the face. Also - for when I listed things off to him, I didn't do it in any snarky way. If I did it was totally unintentional. He asked me what I used and I listed it. I think he hated me just because I was SHOCK actually activily looking for work.

So here's hoping I don't get that moron again and Lisa was just sick or something.
zig_zag123: (Shit...)
When working on filling out applications? DON'T send them your Vash post ideas. You know... that file where you have all your extra CR notes and a couple posts you never posted? Yeah. That does not show your potential as an editor. It just shows you're a nerd. Good thing you look over everything before you hit send.

Actually... on second thought. Start sending it. The employers will be so: WTF they'll at least remember your name... maybe? Just XD Send the real application after you send that one!
zig_zag123: (Egor!)
Had my interview. It didn't go bad, but it didn't go great. I rambled at one point, but what can you do?

They said they'd get back to me after they interview a few more people this week. I don't have high hopes, but we'll see.
zig_zag123: (Kitty)
So, things have changed again. Texted mom at work to let her know I'd be going to NYC Thr and Fri. She texted back that: OH! She has those days off! She wants to go!

But neither of us have a whole heck of a lot of money. So this is our tentive plan as I'm still waiting on my email to come back telling me which interview day I have.

-Leave home tomorrow around noon.
-Check car into overnight parking
-Get to Syracuse in time to catch 2:15 bus
-Arrive in NYC around 7pm
-Check into hotel
-Get lost in NYC
-Cry a little
-Find way
-Go to sleep
-Check out of hotel
-Wander around NYC
-Go to interview
-Wander again
-Catch 6pm bus to Syracuse
-Arrive at Syracuse at 1am
-Drive home

Yeah, only staying the one night as we don't really have money to stay in a hotel room for longer than that. Only now that she's thought on it, Casey wants to come too. She's never been to NYC before. She didn't want to go last night, but now she does. I'm not sure she realizes how light mom and I are packing. I'm bringing a change of clothes, but only because they're my interview clohtes. Mom is just bringing a chnage of underware. Considering we'll be carrying this stuff with us most of the time we don't want a lot of stuff to bog us down.

Oh well, time to see if I can a new hotel. The cheap one we found only had queen sized beds. Of course now mom is suggesting she stay home and Casey and I go. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm fine with it, if mom doesn't really care about going but - ahhh, I don't know. I thought she did? We'll see how the day turns out. Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll do a phone interview so I won't have to go down when they see my email.

EDIT: And in the end this was all pointless. As I got an email back when I put in what day I wanted for an interview with the offer of a phone interview. As excited as I was starting to get about going to NYC with my mom and sister, I've taken the offer. I'd rather save the 160+ dollars it would cost to go down to NYC and back and put it towards a possible move in my upcoming future.
zig_zag123: (Oro?)
Jgiahiehrahrejarhear YES THREE POSTS IN ONE DAY.

So as I was finishing up the voice post - I don't think it picked it up, but a little chime went off right near the end alerting me I had an email. I finished up the voice post I made and spammed it to people before finally looking at it.

After all, it was just a tag right?


Oh... hello NYC job interview! 8DDDDDDDDDDDDD Oh crap... hello NYC job interview with no Autumn to mooch off of.

I finally, FINALLY get another interview and I don't WANT it right now. Couldn't they have waited a few more weeks?

Um... any of you live in NYC? Either way I've emailed them asking for a Friday interview - mentioning I needed the later date one so I had time to book a hotel. (Seriously, all these offers say they read my resume and cover letter, they always fail to notice that big paragraph that mentions that I DON'T live in NYC currently.) What I plan to do is get on Megabus, show up a a hotel that's not TOO far away if I don't get lost on the subway, spend that night there, check out the next morning - go to the interview and then catch the late night bus back to Syracuse.

Huh... my sister was planning on leaving for Buffalo on Thr. Maybe I can catch a ride to the bus stop with her. Then I'd just need someone to pick me up on Saturday morning! Dad stays up usually until 1am anyway. Must think on this...
zig_zag123: (Sonic tounge)

So all you new people - here is the BULK of what my LJ is - a dream journal. XD Get ready for this, because this is your first taste of many of the entries I make.

But first, a little bad news I'm feeling a bit bummed about. Never did get that call yesterday. I'm not totally writing it off. They could still be recovering from the holidays after all. Maybe I'll get it today, but I'd be lying if my blind hope and positive thinking has plumpitied. I feel a little bad now that I did make Vash's post so early as it does look like I'll probably be around on the 4th. I was really, really kinda hoping I wouldn't be. Well, at least now I'm more ready than I ever was before to pick up everything and rush off to NYC. I really kinda thought I had this one. Oh well, try and try again. Someone, somewhere is going to love having a little country girl come work for them for free.


I can tell it was heavily influanced by Sonic. I'm going to blame that on the fact that I dusted off some of my old VHS Sonic cartoon tapes yesterday. XD The biggest: YOU GOT THIS FROM SONIC flag was there was an evil dictator who was not Robotnick, but was still a HUGE and creepy guy - oh, and he wanted to take over the world - OF COURSE! I was part of a group trying to stop him and we hid in the forest and would go down a tree stump, slide down a knothole, and hide out in our secert underground lair to hide from them. Other than that the powers we all had were very different and his means to TAKE OVER THE WORLD were also very different, but it still made me giggle and I enjoyed running around this dream.

Come with me and we'll go dreaming )

zig_zag123: (No idea)

First off - it's been a few days so I want to welcome all the new people from [livejournal.com profile] luceti! Hiiiii! *waves* If I haven't friended you back yet please nudge me so I remember. I'm pretty sure I got everyone - or I just didn't know you friended me. I don't get friend alerts.

Otherwise - ugghhhh! I've had this horrible feeling of forbodance for the past couple days. It will suddenly hit that I'm just sitting here waiting for something horrible to happen. What? I'm not sure. Yes, the cat is 20 and the dog is 14 with horrible arthritis. They both could go any day, but I don't look at them and feel like time is almost out. My grandfather's health has been doing very poorly lately, but I just can't seem to look at him either and not think about that strong man he always was when I was a kid. Picking me up one handed. Fixing EVERYTHING.

So I've been saying it's from that job I could be getting. The wait wasn't so bad when I knew they weren't going to make a decision until after Thanksgiving, but now it's after Thanksgiving. *STARES AT PHONE* Ring! RING DAMN IT! TELL ME I HAVE THE JOB! Tell me I didn't waste those five years in college and that one year at a tech school in highschool. RING AND LET ME START MY REAL CAREER!

NO!!! DON'T RING! Ring and I have to move to NYC! I don't want to move to NYC! I don't want to leave my babies! Mom and dad won't care for them like they need! I don't want to leave my car! My freedom! I love that I can be me in my car! I don't want to have to find a roommate! I DON'T WANT TO BE RESPONISBLE! I don't want to face the final step of becoming an adult! I don't want to move into my own place and get a REAL JOB.

RING! Ring and at least let me know if I got it or not! NO WAIT! DON'T RING! If it's a no, I don't know if I can take a no after this! I finally got down to the last level. Just a couple other people left in the running with me. Please, I don't want to fail again. The lady on the phone REALLY liked me - I could tell! Please don't tell me it was all for nothing! Not again!

...yeah. I'm going to blame it on that.

zig_zag123: (Sano)
JGOjdagjeaj... agheioayhbioh hgiahega GAHHH! What part of THREE MILE BAY sound even REMOTELY close to ANY city you crazy application sending out people in your offices and your desks and you computers and you abjgeabhjeoahgeajgagjeaga. DID YOU EVEN READ MY COVER LETTER!? You know... that part that talks about WILLING TO MOVE to NYC if I have to for this job!? DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A PERSON WHO CAN COME INTO AN INTERVIEW FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.


Just GAHHH! I didn't even know this one WAS in NYC when I applied. It said it was located in a place called Chelsea. Aahhaha... guess what. It's IN New York City. Wonderful. Great. Perfect.

I guess I'm just so ARRRUGGGH about this right now is I'm so tired of trying to find someplace to work. I'd be lying if part of me was kinda starting to like the idea of being around for the holidays. That and the one internship that I really wanted that said they'd call haven't called yet... and... I just.... don't know... what I want to do anymore.

Now dad is awake and he's SO annoying first thing in the morning, the cat is hungry, I got to answer this email and I don't really know what I want to say. Do I tell them I could come down at a later date? Could we do a phone interview? I don't want to mooch off Autumn anymore. NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE HANGING OUT WITH AUTUMN. I just hate being a mooch. And dad won't shut up. And I should be cleaning. And I just want to go HOME.

*stares around bedroom* Awwwww crap.

EDIT: *cough* *Hack* A moment of Zen.
Player removed because it gives away the surpise ending. It's short, it has kittens. WATCH IT. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McNRDGwitts


zig_zag123: (Default)

July 2015

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