zig_zag123: (Kitty)
Going home again tomorrow. Seeing as I was told I have Fri-Tue off. Not sure why the building is closed that long, but it is and it's hot here. Home has air conditioning. Home is just home. It's not NYC. So I'm going home again.

Although we don't have anything planned this trip. So I'm a little nervous about being home more this time. Means I'm going to have to be in the empty house more. Last time I had a bit of a bad moment. It was late and I was staying up late to watch FMA: Brotherhood. I had borrowed mom's computer so I could try to catch up on tags before I headed back to the city in the morning.
A still mourning pet lover )
zig_zag123: (Sonic)

Wenesday was just... pffthagea! *throws hands into the air* I want to say it was bad. It had some pretty low moments, but it wasn't all bad.

Like, I had a meeting with my unemployment advisor and she was so impressed with what I had for her. That I you know - SHOWED UP. Apparently that's a difficult thing. Not only that. I showed up ON TIME. Which I guess never happens. And I had all the paperwork she had asked me to fill out fully completed and neat. That meeting lasted all of 15mins which most of it was spent praising me and telling me that if she had gold stars I'd be getting a couple. I wonder how long this will last until she realizes I'm not looking at ANYTHING local or jobs I could net in a heart beat as I'm so WONDERFUL at cleaning toliets. I'm tired of those jobs. The last one I did that was beneath me I hated every moment of it. I want to start a CAREER.

Missing the pets )



Nervous about dad for no reason )

So in the end. I scared myself for no reason. And wow.... this "quick and short" post I thought I was going to make got LONG! *adds a cut or two*


zig_zag123: (Sonic)

Today was both long and short. Short because I've kept so busy, but long for how emotionally trying it was. It was the very last day I'll work at probably one of the best jobs I'll ever have. As much as I complain about it now and then - it's all mostly the idea of being forced to go somewhere when I could be doing other things. You know... work. I'll complain about not wanting to go to any job I'll ever had.

Oh, and the poop. I won't miss cleaning up the poop.

But funny thing about the bathrooms. For the past week we keep finding the same praying mantis on our bathroom walls and in the pipechase. (Little room between the bathrooms that we hold our bathroom supplies and where you turn the water on and off.) We tried to get it to fight us for a bit then move it to a bush - and yet every morning he'd be back on the bathroom walls or in the pipechase. I named it Deryl. XD He's very good at climbing on brooms. I'm going to miss Deryl.

Today was a lot different from last Labor Day. For starters I actually had help. Cory was there this year to give me a hand. We started the day taking care of all the end of season paperwork and then did a bunch of firepits. Finally got the last of the few straggelers out of the park by 1pm when we cleaned the bathrooms for the last time and locked them off. Must admit, it felt good to lock the bathroom knowing no one would be able to walk in seconds after I just finished. Yet... sad at the same time as it's like the final thing to do before shutting up the campground.

Took down all the signs we could. Brought in the bouy that was nice enough to break it's chain and float in to our shore. Put the cover on the outside sink and got ready to leave. The last thing we did was put our keys in the safe and lock ourselves out of the toll booth. I admit, I love that park. I nearly cried as I pulled out for the last time.

Got home and started to pack for camping, taking a break to take Egor on one of the shortest walks we've ever done. She's the worst she's ever been. I ended up bent over crying on her again. We're so close to camping and it's going to break my heart if she doesn't enjoy this because it's becoming clearer and clearer it's time to say goodbye. Dad caught me crying and I really hated it because I knew I couldn't handle a: It will be alright lie right then, but no, he did about the only thing I could handle. He came down and hugged me and just let me cry for a little bit saying he knew. It hurts, but it's just time, she's old. Which I appericated so much more than the lies we keep telling ourselves that it will be okay.

We eventually got her in, but you can tell it hurts her so. I really hope she enjoys this last trip, although I'm a little worried - I went to check to be sure that her rabies information is where I left it last - it was, but turns out it expired in April. Crap, we need that for camping. Hopefully I know a loop hole. If I bring in her tag in where it doesn't have an experation date on it and hopefully they won't question it - as honestly, we'll probably be putting her down in a week or two, she doesn't need the shoot now in her life.

I just want to camp and pretend I don't have this to come back home to.
 


zig_zag123: (Default)
So the time has come. The end of summer where I become horribly depressed.

The warm weather is quickly leaving. Casey left for school yesterday, Autumn left today. So now I'm alone in this town again.

Read more... )

TL;DR: I'm depressed. I'll get over it. I know I will. I'm complaining about the same stuff I have been for the past couple weeks. Ranting here just makes me feel better, a little. Sorry if I haven't been around to checking my friend's page. I know a lot of you are struggling too and I just can't handle that on top of it all. So, *hugs to those that need it* I'm sorry I haven't been giving them out as needed.
zig_zag123: (Sonic)
I think I'm going to need to take a couple week haitus from Luceti starting the beginning of Sept and I really don't want to. Apps are about to open and we're getting a Wolfwood and a damn good possibility of a Legato. I want to be there when they come in, but I don't think I can be. Even though for the most part the reasons are good, fun reasons... right until the end. Then it goes really bad

The reasons? The fourth and fifth I'll be taking off to go to the wedding of a good APO buddy. I'm really excited to see all my college friends again and can't wait to see her dress. I know she'll look amazing!

Then on the seventh; mom, dad, Egor (the dog), and myself will be taking off for a two night, three day camping trip. Coming home on the tenth. I'm really excited for this for the nature walks, fishing, and just general relaxing after a summer of work.

Then... it goes bad.

Depressing Stuff )

But some awesome news! My co-worker Sarah called me last night saying: Oh, boy, I got a story for you. At first I thought it was going to be something bad, more so when she started out saying she was cleaning the men's room getting ready to go home when her boyfriend William showed up as it was their five year anniversery.

They met at Burnham Point and realized the both had feelings for each other when once she lost her glasses off the dock and he dove in after them. So he took her down to the dock and had a boquate of roses there for her. He gave them to her saying: Happy anniversry! And as she was going: Awwww! Over the roses he said: oh, one more thing and got down on one knee. So Sarah no longer has a boyfriend, but a fiance! And she was so excited as eariler this year we were talking about engaments and she said she always had hopped her's would be romantic and she wouldn't see it coming. And she didn't see that coming.

YAY, Sarah!
zig_zag123: (Angry)
...when I get back from a three day long trip. When I come out the door giggling and laughing going: Oh! You're not Autumn! When you ask me how the trip was and I say great. When we then have a brief conversation about how said trip went and that I drove safely. When we then have a small talk over what we want to do for supper the next thing out of your mouth should NOT be.

"Oh, by the way. I think we should consider having Egor not around anymore. She was having trouble getting up the stairs again while you were gone."

Having Egor not around anymore is also a retared way to say: Put to sleep. Put out of her misery. Put down. Killed.

Don't treat me like a fucking child when I was the one who first talked about putting her down at the beginning of the summer. When we as a family decided with the warm weather coming she should do better, so for the summer we'd put her on some pain meds then let her go at the end of the fall. Or - if she didn't get better sooner.

Yes, it's important you tell me she was having trouble. I need to know this so I can make an informed decision of when to let her go. But my god... did it have to be the only about an hour after I came home?

For someone who is usually overly senseitive to other's feelings... learn some god-damn tact.
zig_zag123: (Kenshin Depressed)
Egor is back from the vets. It didn't go as bad as it could have, but it didn't go very well. Even had her tested for lyme desise because we're in a high area for it. (Living in the town of Lyme after all. Went to Lyme Central - ahahahahaha.) The vet was shocked she didn't have it as she has never been vacinated for it or tested before and has several ticks in the past.

No really - how the heck do we get so luck sometimes wtih our pets?

Read more... )
zig_zag123: (Egor!)
I hope tomorrow’s vet visit goes well. Poor Egor’s problem has gotten worse at a shockingly quick pace. At first she was just tiring faster and falling down now and then. In just a matter of days it seems like now she can hardly stand. Or maybe it hasn’t happened that fast and I’ve just been in denial. Either way it hurts to watch her want to stand up and greet me when I come home from work and just not able to get her hind legs up.

The other day I tried to take her for a short walk and we couldn’t even get across the back yard. Poor baby still wanted to go and seemed like she was going to try to drag her back legs in order to walk.

I’m also becoming more worried it’s a neurological problem rather than a stiff/achy joint problem. If it’s nerves there is little we can do. For pain there’s at least pain relievers. But I guess that all depends on the vet visit tomorrow. Dad is really hopeful this cortisone shot will work for her - keeps saying how well it worked for Sally, but I’m not so sure. Sally was really, really bad before she passed away. I’m thinking if the vet says it’s neurological I may just have Egor put down tomorrow. It will hurt, but it might hurt less than to watch for months as she gets worse and starts to not be able to stand to even go to the bathroom. I really, REALLY hope it doesn’t come to that as in a matter of days it will be the one year mark of when we lost both Sally and Mooshy last year. Our other dog and ferret. I don’t want anymore deaths associated with this month.

And if it’s not neurological then we’ll see what kind of medicine might help. If it helps. It really all depends on how well it helps, if it’s slight I’ll go with it for now, but I’ll have to think really hard come fall. If it’s only helping a little I may say enough then. I’m not sure if Egor will last another winter.

It’s funny just a few short months ago I never would have guessed the cat would have outlived Egor. I thought she was dead for sure a year and a half ago, but now it’s looking like she might outlive all the animals. Huh, funny how life works out. I've talked to mom a little bit about these ideas of what I'll do depending on what the vet says. She thinks it sounds fair to Egot - but I haven't talked to dad yet. I have no idea how he'll take it when she goes. She is his buddy. I can't even put into words how much he loves her. When she goes I know he'll take it the worst. More so because he's retired and doesn't do anything. So he'll be alone in the house all day without her while everyone else is off at work.

Well... the cat with two lives left will be home, but she doesn't do anything but sleep quietly in my room. She doesn't follow dad around and love him like Egor does. I'm really, really hoping for good news tomorow. And if not then at least the streagth and clear mind to do what's best for Egor.
zig_zag123: (Dancing Zack)
So I'm just really amused that today I not only got my Crisis Core game in the mail but I also got a nice quick comment on my Unbreakable AMV(spoliers) on AMV.org. Which is weird as my old videos don't usually get comments or when they do they're not typically that great on that site past: It was okay. But no! This one was really nice~!

"Absolutely fantastic editing! Excellent use of the beats in the song... and I love all of the overlays and transitions."

*Glee!* I really do like it when people enjoy my videos. More so when they actually like the ones I put a lot of work and effort into.

I also did a bunch of work today on my room and I'm feeling pretty damn proud by how well it looks. I dunno, just today I didn't let it get me down that even if I get my room spotless that I'd never be able to have anyone over due to the rest of the house being a mess. (House full of horders living here) nor did I let it get me down that even if I clean it because I'm moving out and I know mom's sickness will destory it while I'm going I just... didn't care and got a lot of work done.

I was on a happy - go me high today which sadly got a bit shattered on my walk with my dog. We weren't even twenty minutes into it when she fell and I had to call the walk quits. She couldn't even get up the steps until after a long, long rest. I felt so bad for her, but what can you do? My babies are old. The cat celebrated her 20th birthday this month and the dog is only about 6 years behind that. I'm going to be making a vet appointment for Egor (the dog) as soon as I figure out what my days off are going to be at the park. See if we can get her some joint meds or something. It's hard to believe that just last fall our walks could last two hours easily.

On a crackier note to leave off on. WTF Marriage meme. W.T.F. I'm all for crack but really? Vash is ALL over the place. From being emo with Sanji, to just so much wrongess and crack my brain broke with China, to epic cuteness when he found a loop hole with chibi!Katara, and I don't want to even know what's going on with Hughes and Vash's crack plant baby from hell. No seriously. Mrs. Brisby shouldn't be his most normal-ish pairing. SHE'S A MOUSE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! And I went ahead and linked everything on this page because honestly I'm just wasting time before I have to go to bed and my eyes can't stare at the PSP screen anymore.
zig_zag123: (Home)
I'm back from NYC and I had a GREAT time~! And everything went pretty smoothly!

It worked out that my aunt Varsi was up visiting from the Buffalo area and was going through Syracuse on her way back the same day I was leaving! So I was able to catch a ride with her and saved my parents a hour long drive down and back trip - not to mention the gas. Except there was a small hitch. Mom misunderstood me somehow the night before when I told her I had printed out two google-map instructions - one for me and one for whoever picked me up on Wen. To LEAVE them in there so they wouldn't lose it until then. (Family of pack rats. Lose something in this house and it's GONE!) Surprised to find she brought it with her when dropping me off with my aunt. Apparently she didn't think I had planned on SHARING the directions with my driver. Derh... moms. She was also freaking out that my aunt's truck would break down on the through way. But that's my mom, always over protected.

Day one! )
Day 2! )

Day 3! )
Day 4! )
Home coming! )
And now I think this entry is LONG enough. I'm going to end it here and seeing as it's now been five days since the new Trigun movie Badland Rumble came out I'm going to see if I can find any fan subs of it anywhere~! Er... and think about my brithday too I guess. I can't believe it's only two days away.

My parents keep asking me what I want to do, but I don't know. I don't have any friends in the areas here. Usually I like to go out with a group of friends on my brithday sooooo I'm at a loss. It's been suggested that we should go see the new Nightmare on Elm Street for my brithday but... it's not Robert England as Freddy! I love Freddy but the traliers are such a let down. I really don't think they could do a decent Freddy movie withour Robert England! The make-up isn't impressive, they totally flubbed up a classic Freddy line of: No, THIS is God! in it. And just... blah. Remakes. So sick of them.

Gah. Cat.

Feb. 11th, 2010 07:43 pm
zig_zag123: (Kitty)
So... the night before last I awoke to a odd noise and my cat meowing. She had half fallen off the bed and for some reason I have amazing reflexes when it comes to waking up in the middle of the night due to cat in distress because before I fully realized what I was doing I had sat bolt upright from a dead sleep, scooping up her back legs and plopping her back onto the bed. That mini heart attack was bad enough. But no. Last night she had to top the - freak me out in the middle of the night antics.

No. Last night I woke up and I'm not sure what woke me up because my room was quiet. I don't know why I sat up in a bit of a panic to see from the dim light of my alarm clock and my extreme blurry vision that something was amiss. All I knew was the cat wasn't right next to my head as she should be.

What I could make out (because I'm basically blind without my glasses) through the blue light was the stool my cat uses to be able to get up and down off the bed had somehow tipped over. So I called out Button's name and felt for her near my feet. She usually sleeps near my head but on VERY rare occations will move to the foot of the bed. No cat there. I called her name again and frantically felt around the bottom of the bed too afraid to stand up and check to see if she was sleeping on top of the heater as she also does on a rare occation at night when it's particualary cold. But I soon felt her right next to the fallen stool. In my slightly freaked/just woken up mind I thought she was partly under it but now that I think back on it I think she was only next to it.

"Kitty!" I yelled and petted her fur a bit and I got back - nothing.

No movement, no soft merw she usually does when I pet her, no nothing. Yeah. I freaked out a bit. I started screaming her name and flipped the stool over still thinking she was partly under it as I basically had already decided she had been crushed. That she was dead. Three months from her 20th birthday crushed under a stool. I was already sobbing and debating if I should wake mom up or if I could keep my cool enough to get the body ready to be taken to the vets. Should I call in to work and take her up for the cremation or go in to work? And just when I was laughing at myself going: Yeah - you're totally calling in. SHE FINALLY MEOWED.

Granted. She meowed about half a second after I tossed the stool aside and those thoughts all pretty much came at once so it wasn't like she waited THAT long to let me know she wasn't dead but that was one of the most horrible half a seconds of my life. And the happiest half second after that. Which I quickly uprighted the stool like it should be and she came back onto the bed and got HUGGED BY ME! I didn't care that I know she doesn't really like it when I get grabby but damn I needed it. I just sat up for awhile petting her and crying because I was so happy she was alright.

Got her something to eat and went back to bed. I still don't know how she managed to flip the stool, must have stepped on the edge just right or something.

But please pets? No more antics for at least one night? I haven't slept the whole night through without one of you waking me up in over a week.
zig_zag123: (I Hate You Guys)
Last night I actually went to bed at a decent time. I haven't been in bed ready for sleep at 11:30 in forever. I was dreaming happily until just before 6am when I was awaken by the cat throwing up.

There's a reason I keep newspapers near my bed. Grabbed one and managed to catch it on that before she threw up. Got up to throw that away which woke up the dog. She jumped up and down all excited going: I HAVE TO PEE! LET ME OUTSIDE!

Which lead to me finding out the door was frozen soild. I couldn't open on it. Tried banging on it but no look. Finally had to get the hair drier and spent a good 20mins defrosting the door. Meanwhile the dog is on the other side of the room terrified by the noise but still jumping up and down to let me know she still needed to go out.

Finally got the door open just for her to not want to come close due to the loud noise that had been there not too long ago. Finally kicked her out and fed the cat; but then couldn't get the dog to come back in. Finally got her to come in with some treats and thought I could finally go back to bed. Only for the cat to decide it was time to be petted. So she plopped herself down on my face.

*sighs* I'm not allowed to have a good night sleep am I?
zig_zag123: (Sonic tounge)
So... obviously when I say month I mean after a nap and putting dinner in the oven. Duh.

SO! Yes! Dreams! Follow the bouncy lj-cut!

Read more... )
zig_zag123: (Kenshin Depressed)
I'm not sure what's wrong with my dog this morning. I woke up and I can hardly remember a time when she seemed more depressed. Normally when I wake up she comes running happy to see movement and asking to go to the bathroom.

Today. She didn't move. Didn't even lift her head. Just looked up at me with really sad looking eyes. I can't even get her leg to kick when I scratch her tummy. She just sighs.

It also makes me think she pooped in the house but I've looked all over and found nothing.

I wish I knew why she's so sad. She was acting normal all day yesterday.

So I'm sitting in the living room with her instead of my bedroom with the cat who's upset and keeps coming out to find me - to find me with the dog. So upset she's thrown up.

I can't win today.

Edit: Puppy seems to be back to normal again. Not sure what her funk was earlier today. Bad dream maybe? Also found out someone got up early to let her out so that's why (thankfully) she didn't poop in the house and wasn't intersted when I offered.
zig_zag123: (Master Sword)
So. I'm down to one dog and one cat. How did they both manage to wind up in my room together?

Possibly because the dog is lonely and the cat never leaves my room.

I love my animals but sometimes taking care of old and sick animals is a pain. Mom, dad, and I are planning to go camping. Now here's the hard part.

Casey doesn't stay home much - who's going to give the cat the many small meals she needs a day. And her medicine?

The dog. Will Casey be around to let her in and out of the house?

The dog is a bit easier. In her old age she's mellowed out quite a bit. We're thinking we might be able to take her with us this time. Before Egor was just to wild and agressive to take anywhere. But now she listens better and is too old and lazy to want to pick a fight with anything. So I'm off to start the adventure of looking for her last rabies tag number.

So at least the dog got easier with age. The cat not so much. Right now mom has to come home for work on one of the three days we're camping. We're thinking of doubling up her meds that day (as she can take up to two-three doses of the medicine but is only needing one a day at the moment) and that should keep the cat regular enough til we get back. It won't hurt her to miss a day.

And if we do take the dog with us then we could leave GLOBS of cat food lying about. Not that the cat will be pleased by it but she'll eat it when she realizes that's all she's got and we don't have to worry about it disapearing into the dog's stomach instead of hers.

*sighs* Pets. Long gone are the days that we could leave a bucket of hard food out and know they'd be fine. Now I just need to figure out how to get dressed without freaking out the cat who might jump on the dog. Hmmm.
zig_zag123: (Home)
As you can probably imagin the last couple days I've been doing a lot of thinking. Not just about the two that have left us - but the two that are still here as well. I'm doing alright. I can start to think about Mooshy and Sally now without automatically crying sometimes. It's still weird to see my sister around the house without a ferret on her shoulder and I've been avoiding going into the cellar alone because I'm not yet ready to face it empty. I went down there with dad to get our fishing gear; but not yet ready to go by myself.

So it was while I was going out the side door instead of the basement to collect the wash off the line with Egor following behind me I wondered how old Sally had been. I was guessing somewhere between 13-14 because I knew Egor wasn't older than 15 and Egor is a year older than Sally was.

So after I got back into the house I pulled out their old paper work. Of course the two right on top was Sally's and Mooshy's paper work. Turns out Sally's birthdate was in Jan 97. So she was about thirteen and a half. Which made Egor fourteen. Since I was snooping about I pulled out Button's paper work because I knew her 19th birthday was coming up. Just couldn't remember if it was Aug or Sept.

Heh. Surprise on me. She was born in May. After looking at that I was surprised I had forgotten. I remembered making jokes about how I was born on May first so my cat and I could share the same birthday month years ago. I can't believe I had forgotten. Not only that but my cat did it. She made it to her 19th birthday - plus some. It's hard to believe how things turned out. If you had asked me at Chirstmas time how things would have gone I would have thought: Well, the cat won't make it to her 19th birthday. Sally will probably last another couple years. The ferret probably has at least another sleepy old age year left. And Egor will probably be the last to go.

I would have never guessed that it would be Mooshy with Sally following so closely behind. Casey and I have a little joke going that the cat is behind it all. That she's slowly trying to reclaim the house as hers. She's just acting sick so we don't suspect her. Probably not the funniest joke, but it helps us cope. We've always been an odd family.

So I'm doing alright. It's not ever going to be 100% better again. I'll probably always look down to see if the ferret is trying to escape when I enter Casey's room. It will be a long while before I stop thinking about if anyone has feed the dogS yet. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay that I had them in my lives for so long and that they were here to love me as much as I loved them. And I'm okay to move on. I'm okay to still go out and have fun. I'm okay to love the dog and cat that are still here. I'm okay. And I'm so okay... I think I'll go play some FF7.

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