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So about a week or so ago I got the news that my only and little sister Casey is taking her turn to move out of the house. She's moving herself all the way to Ohio with her old boyfriend. At first it didn't really sink in. The thought of her moving a whole state away, but it's getting more and more real as the days go by. I'm a little worried and glad at the same time. A little worried because she has been babied most of her life and this time she'll be so far away it's going to take almost a full day for any of her family to get to her. She'll be going with Ray so that helps. He's a good guy, but he also has a kid, I wonder how he feels about leaving the kid behind with his ex. He's a pretty decent dad from the few times I've seen him with the kid.

Then there's Nick, who WAS her current boyfriend. If I'm being honest I liked him a LITTLE better than Ray. They're both good guys, but I just felt like he could take care of my sister better than Ray. I'm also rather angry at Casey for leaving him just because he just left for boot camp. He's going to in the air force and Casey decided she couldn't handle living that kind of life. She's the type that needs physical contact, but she couldn't have decided this BEFORE he left or talked to him about it? I don't think he was gone a full two weeks before Ray mentioned this job he got in Ohio and wanted her to come with him. I'm still not sure he knows, Casey is at least trying to figure out a way to talk to him face to face about this move rather than break up over a text or letter. I'll give her that credit at least.

Once the anger about what she did to Nick wears off then I start thinking about what this means for our family. Dad is handling it better than I thought he would. Instead of wallowing at the bar that his last daughter is finally grown up enough to move out of the house he made plans to come visit me during my birthday. Wow, dad never gets out of the house and suddenly he's making plans to jump on a bus for 7 hours and spend 3-4 days sleeping on the floor. Whoa. Mom didn't even suggest anything to him! I would say that's out of character for dad, but he's always been great at trying to run away from things that he doesn't want to deal with.

Mom is doing well. Already trying to make plans on what to do with our two rooms now that both of her babies are out of the house. I'm trying to be gentle in voicing my fears that those rooms are just going to get filled with clutter rather than be turned into home offices. I really hope she can get a cap on her hoarding problem, but I'm a little worried without me or Casey there who were always trying to get her to stop so we could get the house cleaned up and have people over might make it worse.

As for me, I'm losing one of the best friends I had back home. Me and Casey have always been very different. She's been into make up and high fashion, I've been into anime and games. Even so we've always gotten on wonderfully. A relationship of give and take. Me going on shopping trips I didn't want to go on and her playing multilayer games and being okay that she rarely wins. I've been having a lot of flashbacks lately of our childhood. Playing Chip and Dale on the Nintendo and having to carry her through the hard parts. Our game of Bambi where we pretended we were deer and we'd run through the fields from hunters. Of taking care of the pets together. Or just being there for each other the way sisters should. Riding the bus to school together. Finding old fossils in our stone driveway together. The time she broke her collerbone and I attempted to bury her in her favorite toys until mom could pull the car around.

It's hard thinking of those times being done, but I have to come to terms that they pretty much are. With just me out of the house, I could come home and we could go shopping or play Mario Kart together, but now that we're both moved out it's going to be harder to get together. We're both going to have to travel far to see each other. I'm going home for Easter in less than a week and it breaks my heart thinking that this will probably be the last time the family will be together again until MAYBE Christmas. If I'm not working by then/can take the time off and if Casey can do the same. And where will she stay? The house is too messy for Ray to stay with her. She'd either have to come alone or find somewhere else to sleep. And Casey hasn't seen the importance of spending time together like the rest of us. She doesn't have the same sense of how short life is like me and our parents do. She's more that she has all the time in the world thinkers, but she's also a live life to the fullest type.

Here's hoping that she enjoys the choice she's made in her life and the path she wants to go down. If she finds that she made a mistake at least she has a strong family to fall back on. It's the one thing I've always felt so thankful as I fight to make a living here in NYC. If I do fall I always and forever know I have a home I can go back to.

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zig_zag123

July 2015

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