zig_zag123: (Home)
So about a week or so ago I got the news that my only and little sister Casey is taking her turn to move out of the house. She's moving herself all the way to Ohio with her old boyfriend. At first it didn't really sink in. The thought of her moving a whole state away, but it's getting more and more real as the days go by. I'm a little worried and glad at the same time. A little worried because she has been babied most of her life and this time she'll be so far away it's going to take almost a full day for any of her family to get to her. She'll be going with Ray so that helps. He's a good guy, but he also has a kid, I wonder how he feels about leaving the kid behind with his ex. He's a pretty decent dad from the few times I've seen him with the kid.

Then there's Nick, who WAS her current boyfriend. If I'm being honest I liked him a LITTLE better than Ray. They're both good guys, but I just felt like he could take care of my sister better than Ray. I'm also rather angry at Casey for leaving him just because he just left for boot camp. He's going to in the air force and Casey decided she couldn't handle living that kind of life. She's the type that needs physical contact, but she couldn't have decided this BEFORE he left or talked to him about it? I don't think he was gone a full two weeks before Ray mentioned this job he got in Ohio and wanted her to come with him. I'm still not sure he knows, Casey is at least trying to figure out a way to talk to him face to face about this move rather than break up over a text or letter. I'll give her that credit at least.

Once the anger about what she did to Nick wears off then I start thinking about what this means for our family. Dad is handling it better than I thought he would. Instead of wallowing at the bar that his last daughter is finally grown up enough to move out of the house he made plans to come visit me during my birthday. Wow, dad never gets out of the house and suddenly he's making plans to jump on a bus for 7 hours and spend 3-4 days sleeping on the floor. Whoa. Mom didn't even suggest anything to him! I would say that's out of character for dad, but he's always been great at trying to run away from things that he doesn't want to deal with.

Mom is doing well. Already trying to make plans on what to do with our two rooms now that both of her babies are out of the house. I'm trying to be gentle in voicing my fears that those rooms are just going to get filled with clutter rather than be turned into home offices. I really hope she can get a cap on her hoarding problem, but I'm a little worried without me or Casey there who were always trying to get her to stop so we could get the house cleaned up and have people over might make it worse.

As for me, I'm losing one of the best friends I had back home. Me and Casey have always been very different. She's been into make up and high fashion, I've been into anime and games. Even so we've always gotten on wonderfully. A relationship of give and take. Me going on shopping trips I didn't want to go on and her playing multilayer games and being okay that she rarely wins. I've been having a lot of flashbacks lately of our childhood. Playing Chip and Dale on the Nintendo and having to carry her through the hard parts. Our game of Bambi where we pretended we were deer and we'd run through the fields from hunters. Of taking care of the pets together. Or just being there for each other the way sisters should. Riding the bus to school together. Finding old fossils in our stone driveway together. The time she broke her collerbone and I attempted to bury her in her favorite toys until mom could pull the car around.

It's hard thinking of those times being done, but I have to come to terms that they pretty much are. With just me out of the house, I could come home and we could go shopping or play Mario Kart together, but now that we're both moved out it's going to be harder to get together. We're both going to have to travel far to see each other. I'm going home for Easter in less than a week and it breaks my heart thinking that this will probably be the last time the family will be together again until MAYBE Christmas. If I'm not working by then/can take the time off and if Casey can do the same. And where will she stay? The house is too messy for Ray to stay with her. She'd either have to come alone or find somewhere else to sleep. And Casey hasn't seen the importance of spending time together like the rest of us. She doesn't have the same sense of how short life is like me and our parents do. She's more that she has all the time in the world thinkers, but she's also a live life to the fullest type.

Here's hoping that she enjoys the choice she's made in her life and the path she wants to go down. If she finds that she made a mistake at least she has a strong family to fall back on. It's the one thing I've always felt so thankful as I fight to make a living here in NYC. If I do fall I always and forever know I have a home I can go back to.
zig_zag123: (Tatto)
Ugh, I hate the feeling of: What am I missing? Is there something better around the corner?

I cannot even begin to rememeber or explain just how many thousands of emails I've sent out requesting to see apartments. Most never are answered. Some are, but then they flake out and never contact me again. Then a few have, but I haven't been crazy about what I've seen.

More on this later when I'm not so bone tired.

...like next month.

So I think I've narrowed it down. Viewed three more places today. (Should have been four. It was awesome to get that text ten minutes before I was planned to meet someone to see a house after traveling an HOUR to get there to be told they found a roommate.) They were all very nice and I SO wish I could take a little from each and mash them together to make the pefect place.

Choice three - I love the location. It's busy, but has a more laid back, community feel to it. But the women I'd be living with is much older than me, we don't have much in common, and she's gone pretty much all the time. Also - huge ass laundry mat and grocery store RIGHT aroudn the corner. Win.

Choice two - Fairly large frunished room, but a bit pricey. The area is nice, but a little more run down than what I would have liked. However, not run down in a way that I feel I'm going to get mugged every two feet. Also, I get along good with one of the roommate already. We talked easily for an hour today and I'm pretty sure he's hoping I commit. As he's called me once about two hours after we met and I told him I had a couple more places to view this weekend and then emailed me again. However, I don't really get that "home" feeling I was hoping for when I found an apartment. There's also no living room and I'm told the other two roommates I didn't meet tend to keep to themselves and the one I did meet is actually away a lot on business. I was really kinda hoping to make a new friend with one of my roommate to be honest, seeing as the only other person I know in this whole city and can call a friend is Autumn.

Choice one - cheap ass, but NICE looking apartment. The room is tiny though, but I honestly don't need a very big room. It also has a washer and dyer in the apartment. And it has a living room. While I didn't get to meet any of the other roommates and didn't talk too deeply with the one who was there I was told they're all more towards my own age. One's also a film student. I think we could get out and hang more. But... not a huge fan of the area. It's okay, but it's a bit too busy. I'd like something a little quieter. I want to accept this place except one catch... apparently the landlord only accepts cash for rent. Yeah... don't like that. I'm going to have to figure out if he'll at least sign some sort of recipt.

Only... I can't get ahold of the person who orginally contacted me for this apartment. I got home late so I didn't feel right calling and maybe she hasn't seen my email yet. Ugh, this is all so stressful.

I think the part I hate the most, is the fact that I'm no good at moving. Before college I've done it all of once. And I was five years old. I didn't even move very far. I get very attached to things and cannot stand change. So I don't think I'll ever find something I'll truely be happy with because of this.

Ugh... I just wish things didn't move so fast down here. I feel like I don't even have time to see more than the door to enter the apartment before it's gone. It's nuts. I hate just going with the first thing I see.

:( Also none of these places allows pets. I want a kitty damn it. Or something to just love me unconditionally... um... okay, conditionally as long as I keep the food dish full. I pass two flower shops daily and everytime I do I always think: Man... I wish I had someone who'd buy me a flower... a buquae would be awesome, but even one would be nice. And not for my birthday. Just out of the blue because they love me so much they went and threw five bucks away to get me something that will be dead soon. Shush, my brain is weird. They just did it because they wanted to do something nice for me.

And then I go: I don't need a stupid flower. I need a cat. Then they can bring me dead mice. 8D

...why don't any of these apartmetns accept cats? I kinda want to pick one just so I can stop looking and stressing about not having one, but... what if I don't find anything better?

Meh, I suppose I can try moving again in a couple months. Maybe I'll have a better internship by then.

My playlist still feels like being silly I see.


Feb. 21st, 2011 12:18 pm
zig_zag123: (Sleepy puppies)
Ugh, it's been a crazy few days. A tiring few days.

Tuesday and Wenesday was spent all day packing. Trying to figure out what would stay and what would go. I managed to pack a lot of stuff into four suitcases. Mom was impressed at least. Thr morning was rough, but went well. I unplugged everything in my room, shut the vent, and closed the door. It was kinda sad thinking how there wasn't going to be life in there for a long time and that all my things would be covered in dust when I got back. The dog was too tired to get up so I didn't feel so guilty. Much better than having her following me around whinning that I wasn't paying her enough attention before I left. I still sat with her for awhile and gave her the best belly rub I could. Gave the cat a hug, even though she didn't like it much, I wanted to burry my face in her one last time. I fed her after that, so she was very happy again. Said a teary eyed goodbye to dad and headed off.

Very, VERY long entry about the past three-four days )
zig_zag123: (Home)
Made it safe and I'm almost unpacked! The suitcases were awesome and all three suitcases fit into the fourth and I have drapped one of my tapastries over top of it.

I'm feeling a bit more homely and moved in, but I'm already not crazy over this big city life. Already been asked to give money four times. Gotten lost at least three times. My feet and arms hurt from lugging my stuff all over the place. And it stinks and smells funny.

It's never completely quiet here. I think I'll miss hearing the owls and coydogs at night. (Mostly my kitty's soft, purr-snore that she does.) But to the apartment's credit, it's really not that loud.

More to come later. I am beyond tired and ready for bed. Just wanted to put up a little message that mom and I got down here and to Autumn's place safe and sound. More to come in a few days.
zig_zag123: (Poke!)
Okay. Nearly done packing. Got it all to fit in three bags.

...until mom came home and said she was afraid to carry one of the bags up stairs and told me I should spilt it into two bags.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I dun wanna pack no mores.

But I was amused when I thought I had managed to get it all in two. Was patting myself on the back. I KNEW I could get it in two! But I'd still take the third bag so I can pack some of the more deliciate stuff with a bit more room! Now what did I forget to pack?

*peering around room* Oh hi shoes! I almost forgot! You can go in here! 8D

*Ten pairs of shoes later* O_o When did I get so many pairs of shoes!? I went from five: heavy duty work boots, flip flops, sneakers, black pair of dress shoes, and slippers. To like... 8 million. I now have two dressy sandle shoes (in black and brown), two dress shoes (in brown and black), a pair of sneakers, flip flops, my favorite old shoe boots, slippers, and two brown everyday heeled boots. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!? OH! And I still have the work boots, just didn't pack them. Don't plan to be doing much weedwacking in NYC.

I never pictured myself to EVER be one of those people who had a suitcase full of shoes, but now I am! Packed nicely under my Trigun, Ikigamai, Uzumaki, and Mushishi manga. It's killing me not bringing my Reiko the Zombie Shop and Petshop of Horror books with me, but those series were smaller. (Well, except Trigun - but you never know when I'll need a canon review!)

Ugh, am I really almost done? QUICK! Someone tell me what it is I'm forgetting to pack. Got desk supplies, my important paperwork, dresser clothes, closet clothes, bedding, towels, phone charager, DS charager, PSP charager, camera, some of my DVDs and CDs, my diploma. Why do I need that I don't know, but I felt the need to pack it. The thing Autumn asked me to bring, medicine, books, plushies, ughhhhhhhh what else? WHAT ELSE!?
zig_zag123: (Dress to kill!)
So, yes, been having major mood swings lately. Ranging from over hyper I PACK EEEEEEEVERYTHING! To clinging to my pets and sobbing into them as I tell them how sorry I am for leaving them.

But I wanted to post something not about my move when I remembered I had been trying to get my TMNT AMVs in a place where people can watch them online again. So I uploaded them all to my metacafe site. For some reason... only one of them uploaded correctly. I'll have to try the other one later, but for now, back to the internet since Youtube killed my site: Glaxay Defender!

NOTE: OH! I almost forgot. Actually The Turtle Dip and Ring the Bells are up too. They've been there for a bit, I've been trying to get the ones that I haven't already uploaded up.


Feb. 14th, 2011 07:57 pm
zig_zag123: (Sad Rude)

Decided to leave Thr if Autumn is cool with mom and me invaiding then. Mom decided she can get off work to go down with me so now I can take two suitcases instead of one. Maybe I'll take three and just bite the bullet and take a cab to Autumn's place. We'll see at how good a packer I can be.

Of course... packing would go so much easier and smoother if my dog wasn't sleeping happily between my suitcase and dresser. Everytime I look at the dog and cat right now I start crying. I just... feel horrible. To them it's going to be like I've abandoned them. They have no idea my time with them is rapidly coming to an end. It's kinda funny. Mom only started crying today when she mentioned she was going to hate having to be the one to decided when to put them down again. She liked it when I had that responsiblitiy. I think she's still tramatised from when she had to choose to put Milo down so many, many years ago.

I should probably give Buttons a bath one more time before I go. Not that she'll be very happy with me when I do it.

I've also begun to strip everything of mine out of my car. I've really gotten attached to that car. So many good memories to it and just the sense of freedom it always gave me. I tried to take very good care of it while I had it. I plan on taking one more trip into the city tomorrow. I told mom and dad it's so I can get cheap candy, but really, I just want one last drive in my car. While it's still mine.

This is going to be a very long, painfully short couple of days until the move.

Hahah.... funny playlist.


zig_zag123: (Default)

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