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Last week I was busy and I've never been happier. I got asked to return for a week by my old internship to help them with a new mini project. I got paid 500 bucks for the week and it couldn't have come at a better time. As I had no idea how I was going to pay my rent before that. It felt great going to work each day. To be paid for what I went to school for. It was just the confidence boost I really needed. That someone wanted to pay me for what I could do. It was also nice to see my old co-workers again. They were so excited to have me back. I hope they get another project soon and need me again.

Then on Monday I had an amazing interview for Staples. Not my dream job in the slightest, but it will pay my bills and I'm so excited for it. He said he really liked me, but he had to see the rest of the interviews he had set up to be fair. He promised to call today if I got the job or not. I'm trying to be calm about the whole thing because if I get it I can finally eat more than ramen noodles, but if I don't get it I can spend more time looking for that dream job. It really is still fairly win-win. Also, this job will force me to play with photoshop more and make me more desirable for my real job.

Other than that the weather has been great. BEAUTIFUL so I've been out trying to get as much sun as I can. Spent a couple days reading at the beach. It's actually the first time I've ever walked out in a tank top in public. I don't think I've done that since I was ten, but between my new outlook on life, my sister showing me that I AM pretty, and my mom backing that up by giving me a little money so I can buy new clothes I decided to be brave and wear it. And you know what? I did feel pretty. A little shy as I swear it seemed like I was the only one in NYC ready for summer weather by wearing a tank top and shorts, but I still felt pretty.

I do really like my new outlook on life. I do also think that I have the anti-depressants to thank for that. I find that since I've been on them I have been more mellow. Feeling better about myself. I'm still the same person, but I don't get hung up on things like I use to. Like this morning I suddenly felt like crying for no reason and usually I probably would have spent an hour or so of the day wasted crying. Then I remembered I had forgotten to take my pill. While I still felt like crying, I took it, took a shower, and powered through it. Even if it's just a placebo and it was more me thinking it was going to help. I'm glad it's there.

So yeah, still keeping on tract I hope. I even found another website to look for work. I'm not spending all day in the house everyday. I'm trying to think positive. And I have a cute derpy kitty! And now, I'm about to go get some french toast.

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July 2015

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