zig_zag123: (Out of the Way)
[personal profile] zig_zag123
Today isn't such a good day. Started off bad last night. I've been sleeping more than I think is healthy, and it's been making me a little nervous. So last night I decided I'd try going to bed early and forcing myself up early. That was the plan until my back pain came back with a vengeance last night. I have a small curve in my spine and while normally the pain is annoying, but manageable, last night and this morning it was not. I was up every thirty to forty minutes to toss and turn for awhile before trying to fall back to sleep.

It didn't really help that I kept having dreams last night. Some where good, while others left me feeling confused and unsettled. Like people asking me questions I couldn't understand. Not knowing if I was awake or asleep. Not knowing where I was. I had one that woke me up in terror, utterly sure I was falling out of bed. That one left me clutching at my bed for awhile, trying to convince my over active brain that I was NOT falling out of bed.

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. So when I woke up at 9am - the latest I wanted to sleep to, I said fuck it and rolled back over.

When I finally did get myself out of bed and checked my emails I saw that a job I applied to yesterday left an email asking me to call. So call I did and was finding myself in a phone interview. At first I felt like I was doing pretty good, then it all went south. He asked me to rate how well i know FCP on a scale of 1-10. I've been told that I belittle myself too much. So I was thinking a 5.5 but said 7. Then he started to ask me about the integral workings of FCP and I totally boomed that. Then he started to ask me about my low GPA. Then of course I sound like I'm getting defensive when I say it had nothing to do with my communication courses, that I just didn't do well in science. I had to take those courses. He said he had more people to talk to and he'd get back to me.

It's what I wanted. I wanted a job, but now I'm sitting here wishing I don't get this job. Granted, it's just an internship. It's not a REAL job, not what I really wanted, but it would make me feel less useless around here. Yet here I am, scared to death to get what I've been trying for. It leaves me wondering if I can really do this. Or maybe I've just wasted my life trying to do something I can never succeeded in when I'm just so... mediocre.
From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Profile

zig_zag123: (Default)
zig_zag123

July 2015

S M T W T F S
   1234
5 67891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags